A page of jokes and humour
Two Vicars were playing golf before the service one Sunday.
Knowing that it was wrong, Peter said to God "Look at these two Playing golf before a service, surely you will do something about it".
God said "Don't worry they will be punished".
One vicar tee's off at the 17th hole and gets a hole in one!
Peter say's to God "I thought you were going to punish them yet you let him get a hole in one"
God replies "Well....who can they tell!"
 
Courtesy of Marie (Christ the King)
This one's from Mo! - To be read with cornish accent!
A farmer went out to feed his cows one winters day, only to discover them lying on their backs with their legs in the air frozen.
"Oh dear" says the farmer, "whad'll I do now."
Suddenly a little old lady appeared and she said,
"What be ther mat'er, my dear?"
The farmer said "Moy cows are all frowzen"
with that the little old lady went to the cows and wrapped her arms around their necks.
The farmer asks "What be you doin?"
She said "You got'er give 'em a little tenda love 'n care" With that, all the cows got up and were fine. The farmer, shocked at this said "Well ..... I'll be ..... what be yer name my dear"
The little old lady replied "My name be Thora Herd!"
Tech Support: "What does the screen say now."
Person: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support: "Well?"
Person: "How do I know when it's ready?"

Who said was that Babs?
Nine year old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school.

"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he used his walkie - talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."

"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.

"Well, no, Mom. But if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"

A guy named Joe finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask God for help. He begins to pray...

"God, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto".

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.

Joe again prays...

"God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well".

Lotto night comes and Joe still has no luck.

Once again, he prays...

"My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order ... " Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Joe is confronted by the voice of GOD himself:

"JOE, MEET ME HALF WAY ON THIS ONE ... BUY A TICKET!"

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina.

One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor.

The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much.

The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."

"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."

"To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose."

"To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow."
A few answers given in a childrens test.
If you would like to contribute to this page anything humorous (it doesn't have to be a joke) please e-mail the frog